And Then He Turned Two

Before I became a mama I thought things were exaggerated by parents. Top of the list was sleep deprivation (I mean come on babies need their sleep and I’m used to it anyway going out late at the weekend. Oh yes I really thought that and how I wish I could go back and slap the head of my naive self.) And shamefully I have to admit before Noah turned two I thought the whole ‘Terrible Twos’ buzz was also a bit exaggerated by parents (I know I know- you think I would’ve learnt?) Well….we are just shy of 4 weeks into Noah being two.


Noah has always been such an easy child to take out to social gatherings, restaurants, anywhere really (disclaimer: this may sound rosy- the child did not sleep through the night until a week ago. TOUCH WOOD and PRAY FOR US this is a permanent thing now) but I swear to you- the day he turned two, it was like there was a switch within him. A switch we wish we could have found before he did and deactivate.

We went out for dinner on his birthday night to Pizza Express (donuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner is his thing on his birthday. Well it’s my thing and because I birthed him I get an excuse another day of the year to eat all the sugar and Italian carbs I want Okay?). Twenty minutes into dinner Noah decided he wanted my prosecco instead of his water. Understandable as I know bubbles wins hands down every time, but he had only been alive 730 days- so rather early to start that habit. Anyways our usual distraction tactics with his beloved Cars and bribery of chocolate for dessert (yes another thing I swore I would not do pre-Noah) was not working. Before we knew it the tables next to us were watching as Noah threw his cars across the restaurant and screamed at the top of his voice while whacking us both, with the help of Elmo.

What felt like an eternity but was probably only 20 minutes and after a very sweet waitress charmed him with some nutella covered dough balls, Noah was back to his happy cute adorable loving self. Lewis and I on the other hand were left staring at each other silently screaming with our eyes- WTF WAS THAT??

Needless to say, Pizza Express was not a one off performance by our beloved Noodle Face.Oh no.

In less than 4 weeks he has managed to make us abandon two grocery shops (once with the trolley full. I know you feel my pain), cancel dinner plans because the headache just wasn’t worth it, consider putting him up for adoption, (if the Grandparents are reading this- I joke…) , think about buying shares in Bombay Sapphire and I now have to dye my hair every 3 weeks due to the greys. Can you imagine what it’s going to be like in 10 months? Dying the mop every 5 days?!

Other mums via our wonderful world of blogging and social media (especially Susie Verrill) have made me feel much better about these wild tantrums and moments of mayhem. Knowing I am not alone is probably the most reassuring thing. I know Noah doesn’t yet have the language to express his feelings and so it often leads to massive meltdowns so there is a reason behind it. However after the tenth meltdown before 9am I may not be as sympathetic.

All that being said, I wouldn’t be doing this journey of motherhood or Noah, any justice if I didn’t highlight a few of my favourite things since he turned two because with every raincloud, there is always those sunbeams:

  • His recent understanding of who people are- seeing him with my family (especially my gramps at Christmas) and Buddy our wee dog- that was one just beautiful.
  • The level of curiousity and enthusiasm he expresses- I mean this kid will “WOW” and “OOOOOOOHHHHHH” during a whole episode of Blue Planet. Probably David Attenborough’s youngest fan.
  • The way he says sorry when he has had his time out on the naughty step (got to give the kid his dues here- he will never refuse to go on the naughty step or gets off until one of us go over). He will run over to whoever he was naughty to and throw his arms round them, planting the biggest open mouthed smacker on their face.
  • His independence- this is a double edged sword. It drives me crazy 90% of the time. Especially when we are already late for something and he insists on putting on his own shoes (which he cannot do yet) or refusing any help to drink from a proper cup. That being said- there are moments when I can see flashes of what he will be like when he is older- determined and set on achieving what he wants.

So here is to all the mamas and parents that feel they are losing it on a daily basis courtesy to a 2 year old monster. And here’s to me getting through the next 11 months with some sanity left and plenty of home hair dye kits.


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